1. - Finding One's Self




Benjamin Franklin once said that there are three extremely hard things: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self. I guess you are all wondering why I just mentioned that. It’s because I want to share with you a recent revelation of mine. This revelation started with a difficult task and a secret. On my first week in college, my block mates and  I were tasked to create a four to six minute introductory speech about ourselves. Our professor gave us some tips on how to start a speech. He said one way was to tell your audience a secret. Well, I have a secret. My secret is that I find it really hard to talk about or describe myself.


By Saturday night, I was starting to panic because a classmate of mine requested that we submit the outline of our speeches by Monday (the assignment was given to us the previous Thursday) and I still had no idea what I wanted to share about myself. I decided to ask my best friend for some suggestions. He said that I could talk about my likes, dislikes, some personal perspectives, or beliefs. So I started to ask myself, what are my likes and dislikes? Do I have any personal perspectives or beliefs? I came up with nothing. Why was it so easy for others to say what they liked and disliked? Why was so easy for them to talk about themselves?

As I was evaluating myself I realized that this was not a recent problem of mine. Back in my high school we were grouped into four career tracks by the time we were in our third year. At first I was part of the business and entrepreneurship track but then I transferred to the medical science track in my fourth year. I didn’t know what career path to pursue.

Then there was the matter of what course to take in college. My family wanted me to take up a computer related course. I was a bit hesitant. Then I asked one of my aunts who took up I.T. why she decided to take her course. She said that she too had no idea what she wanted to take. Her mother was the one who suggested that she take up IT. She explained to me that family would most likely know you best ad therefor could know what career would best suit you. And she said that as it turns out she likes being an IT. So I’m here in APC thinking that college is a way to find myself.


It finally dawned on me. The revelation that I am not here in Asia Pacific College to try and find myself but I am here to continue to create myself. There’s nothing wrong with having difficulty in describing or talking about one’s self. My past experiences stay with me forever and add up to my personality. Like being in the medical science track made me afraid of blood. How being in APC has made me realize that college is not self-finding but continuous growth into a good person. With this revelation I leave you with another quote that has become my personal belief. Like Thomas Szasz said, “People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.” .

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